It's Volleyball Season

Let me make one thing clear: there are no bigger volleyball fans at the University of Oregon than I am. There's Really Old Guy, who is far creepier than I am, but not a bigger fan. And of course there is Dan Mahoney, who claims that he loves the team more without citing any factual evidence as to why, but I'm assuming that he believes this because he is louder at games while I am more reserved, and that he doesn't have family obligations obstructing him from watching any games... they just prevent him from attending parties with the coolest girls on the team (see last paragraph here). Alas, I digress from the original point. I do love this sport, enough to make signs declaring my emphatic enthusiasm for the team.

As a quick recap of this past year, the original sign I made had the intention of stating that Liz, #6, was my favorite player. The team appreciated the effort, and I appreciated the team's appreciation, and a mutual relationship had begun; I show my loyalty to the team and get the reward of knowing they love their fans. The very next game against UW, I made another sign for Liz, this time a little less blunt with a little more humor than the previous sign. The sign had a picture of Antoine Dodson, telling UW to "Hide yo kids, Hide yo wives, 'cause #6 is in the game." Although I never really talked to Liz... nor have I ever actually talked to Liz... I'm fairly certain that they still liked it.  We upset the then #7 team in the nation, and the signs kept rolling on in after that. After a few games, the team began to look in my direction as I was unveiling the next sign. Others included "Freshman of the Week? More like Freshman of the Century" (For Liz), and "#10 deserves a sign" For Savannah after we upset the National Champions.

However, last year is a thing of the past, and 2012 certainly has a different feel to it. I've had nearly 9 months to think of ideas on how to make signs this year better, and they have been thought out, drafted, discarded, rewritten and meticulously planned for the exact moment I reveal them. Lauren Gross (LG), a former player on the team and who Dan and I might* consider to be the coolest person at this University, has been more than influential; she provides key insights to the team's dynamic and lets us know who would appreciate what idea the most. I still don't quite understand why she thinks Dan and I are cool enough to talk to, but I won't argue.

To start this season off with a bang, I was inspired by the character Dug from the movie Up! In which he tells the protagonist of the film (Carl) "I have just met you and I love you." Even if you haven't seen the film, the quote is still funny and relevant to the 6 new players on the team.

The sign process begins with a yellow poster and a quick outline in pen, followed by a bold once-over in sharpie. Each sign takes approximately 40 minutes, and costs about $2.75 in the materials to make.

Outlining

Sharpie-ing

It got some good laughs, and I had the opportunity to talk to all the new players on the team. Of course, I didn't actually seize this opportunity, I more just approached them afterwords, got their autographs, and timidly walked away without really saying a word. I am not a confident man when it comes to girls on the volleyball team, so I figured staying quiet and not having them think I was creepy was probably the best idea. I have plenty more opportunities to screw things up in the future, why blow it on the first game? Regardless, the 2012 sign campaign had officially begun.

Only one player not on the sign signed the sign. I didn't have the heart to stop her.

To note, the first sign of the season narrowly beat out Dan's proposed idea of how we should start it.  I have only used one of Dan's ideas to date, as they are usually pretty terrible. This one, however, may have been the best idea he has ever had:

This needs no explanation, but man is it funny. Of course, we would never actually make this sign. The players would be legitimately distracted from the game, the underlying message is rather derogatory (albeit funny), and I don't think that everyone would get it. That being said, it is undoubtedly Dan's best idea to never be used.

For the 2nd game, I decided to tone back the humor a bit with much more blunt and straightforward sign. Dan and I had the honor of sitting with LG for the latter part of the game, during which we presented our newest ideas and checked in on how the team was really doing. For the 2nd sign, My idea was straightforward; state that Lauren Plum (LP) is the best at what she does. LP has been not only one of the best players in the country, but also one of the nicest and friendliest people on the team (to me at least). However, I was a little pessimistic about the sign and I was timid to hold it up during the game. Not that the message is bad, but the writing and letters are merged which makes it a bit difficult to read, the subjectivity of the statement lingers in the back of my mind (although she will most likely be an All American this year, which she more then deserves, it's hard to say that she is THE best) and the sign is just not very funny... humor is what I usually use as a crux for all of my other sign ideas. However, she (LP) did like it, which is what really matters. I approached her after the game for a photo op. Because of the serious nature of the sign, I asked Lauren "Can we be super serious in this photo?"
"Super serious?" She replied.
"Yes, super serious. No smiling."
"Alright, let's do it."

To make one thing clear, while Dan was fumbling around with his camera, I had the full intention of being super serious. It only dawned on me within the last second before the photo was taken to actually smile... because, well, it would be really funny.

Turns out is was really funny

The most amazing thing about this photo is that Lauren was actually attentive enough to catch my smile in her periphery, even though I was standing nearly perpendicular to her line of sight. She demanded that we take an actual happy picture.

Next is a sign for Liz, #6. I can't abandon her as my favorite and go-to sign player. It's not going to be very funny, but this is entirely planned. After 2 blunt and mediocre signs (including this one with LP), I plan to make what will easily be the best sign I have ever made for any sporting event ever**. It is entirely deserving of it's own explanation and blog post, and I look forward to that more than anything this volleyball season.

*(read "might" as "definitely")

**jpjpjp

Eugene Celebrating

First off, I apologize to my 2... no... 3 loyal readers, as I haven't posted in quite some time. My life has been consistently mundane as of late. That is, until this weekend, where I was able to combine multiple exciting events into 4 jam packed days; each worthy of it's own blog post. So without further ado, I give you the full (uncensored) recap of the most exciting weekend of my life (in the past 4 weeks).

The Eugene Celebration Road Race is the last big race of the year, and I've been looking to complete in it for quite some time. Because this race is so late in the year, I've always been burnt out by the time it comes around. Last year (2011), I begrudgingly participated in it, only to get dropped in the road race and to stop to pick black berries during the time trial; completely overtrained and apathetic. This year, however, was a little different. Because of what is now known as the Bolivia Incident, I was unable to train seriously for almost 2 months, which allowed me to not be burnt out come August and actually look forward to racing. For those of you that don't know, the Eugene Celebration consists of a 5k uphill time trial (go up a hill as fast as you can), a 57 mile Road Race, a 15 mile flat time trial, and a 45 minute criterium race. The person with the lowest time overall wins the entire race.

The Mcbeth Hill Climb: Being a smaller guy, I should be able to get up a hill pretty quickly, right? Well, no. Wrong. For some reason (the reason being that I'm slow) I was able to put in a sub par 13:00 hill climb, placing me 23rd out of 38 riders (the winner was around 11:20 to get up that same hill). This was nothing spectacular, and there is no excuse at why I'm as slow as I was. Alas, I digress. My legs turned out to give a much better showing the next 2 days of racing.

Finishing the uphill climb in a world of pain

Briggs Hill Road Race: I've ridden this course more times than I can count, and this definitely gave me a slight edge over the other riders. My goal was to be like a Milford Man, and boy would I have made Lucille Bluth proud. The course consisted of two climbs, with the main being Briggs hill; a 5 minute climb riddled with cutbacks and steep grades. I knew were the potholes were, I knew when to surge, when to hide and when to drop back. But most importantly, I knew to be patient. No one knew of my existence until the 2nd lap (each lap being ~18.5 miles, 3 laps total), when the field started to fracture up Briggs into groups of 3s and 4s. Feeling rather opportunistic, I decide to go a bit harder and crescent over the hill in the lead 5 riders, with the #1 and #2 GC riders being the two of the very few guys in front of me. We were off the front for about a mile and a half, but everything quickly came back together on the descent, and I faded to the back with a newfound confidence in my climbing legs. During lap 3, a group of 5 snuck off to join up with a solo rider (making the total 6). This didn't concern me too much, as the #1 and 2 GC guys were still in my group and I just decided to sit in and be patient until the final climb, I knew I could keep up with them over it. Once there, the group started to thin out immediately, and the pace ramped. I looked up ahead and witnessed the 1 and 2 guy sneak off the front at the base of the climb, but (sadly) I was wedged in between 2 riders and had no way to jump around. Everyone around me was fading, as rider after rider kept falling off the pace at the front, and there was no semblance of a field. I, however, was having a blast and feeling the best I ever had in a race; I was able to crest 3rd wheel over. I could undoubtedly been in the front, but there with the descent, I figured it was best to let others work. On the way down, about 6 of us started to work well together to catch the (now) lead 8 riders. Unfortunately though, our group got a little too big for our own good (possibly 12) by the end; not everyone was taking pulls through, and we ended up about 6 seconds away from catching the lead 8. I placed 16th on the day... I still suck at sprinting.

Post race, I stayed well hydrated and drove the lead car for the masters field. Well, I actually stayed a little too hydrated; by lap 2/3 I started to feel a quite strong urge to urinate, and by lap 3 I was on the verge of unleashing the wrath of my bladder in to my car. You know when you have to pee, and it's like a surgey kind of pain and you're fighting your bladder to control it? I'd consider that a 9/10 (with 10/10 pissing yourself). I was around a 9.7. Man, did I really have to go, but the race would be over in 35 minutes, and I kept telling myself I could definitely make it. Well, I did eventually make it, and when I found my way to the port-a-potty I decided to time how long of a stream I could hold. It turns out, I peed for 46 seconds CONSISTENTLY! 46 seconds without letting the stream break! And this was a strong stream, too. This was truly my finest moment of the day. I just had to let you know how accomplished I felt after.

I would also like to take just a quick paragraph  of my post to tell you about how Dan Mahoney forgot his cycling shoes for the 2nd time in as many years as we've gone to this race. I know it doesn't sound very funny when hearing this news, but I really just want to point out how stupid he should feel for forgetting his shoes, and that I will (most likely) never let him live this down.

Coburg 15mile TT: The Time Trial has been the bane of my existence ever since I started riding bicycles. I've never been powerful, consistent, or fast. Three things that are crucial to being good. This time, however, I wanted to make sure there was no excuse as to why I was slow. I put Alex Wentz's TT wheels on Tiffany, and committed 100% to doing the best I could.

Tiffany's lookin good

The details of the Time Trial are rather boring, I had to swerve over the double yellow line to avoid some geese, I got blown around a little bit, but overall I did fairly well. I averaged just over 25.00 mph and PR'd by over 1m30s. I placed 17th in the 3s (again, nothing spectacular), but being a mediocre time trialist is actually MUCH better than what I've been in the past. I'd actually say I'm the proudest of this result more than any other this weekend.

The Criterium: Holy shitballs was that sketchy. The race wasn't terribly fast, but it had lots of surges and consistently had near-crashes. I've been spoiled by racing with the 1/2s with how fluid and fast they are, but this race truly made me uncomfortable. We cornered 4 wide at points, people would hit their brakes pretty hard, and surge back. I almost lapped wheels twice (both because I was forced outside by the rider inside of me taking a shit line). I was never comfortable in this race unless I was on the front. I attacked maybe 3 times, but each time the GC leader hopped on my wheel. I'm not sure why... I was around 16th overall, but maybe he sensed the sketchyness as well.
The race ended with my rolling in as far back as possible without losing any time (somewhere around 25th?), and overall very pleased with my mediocre results.

The best part of this weekend though, was not the race; it was what I got to come home to after the race. I was asked to house sit in a beautiful home with two drop dead gorgeous dogs. One Golden Retriever (who I call pup), and another Labradoodle (named Gus). The house is amazing, but taking care of dogs is the best thing I could ask for. Here is a picture of them.

Pup

Another of Pup

Gus, who vaguely looks like a mop in this shot

It's been a really good weekend.